10 Promises To Our Baby Boy From Your Momma.
My sweet baby boy,
Where do we even begin this adventure we’re about to embark on?! I can basically tell you that your daddy and I planned on starting our family shortly after getting married, and knew that every moment until then would be dedicated to being the best couple we could be to each other. We’ve been through the easy times, and the trying times, and we’ve made it nearly a decade already, changing and adjusting to our relationship every step of the way. Growing up with someone is very tough, but we poured ourselves into bettering our relationship years ago, and I feel like I wake up some mornings thinking, “this can’t get any better”… and then it does. Your dad and I have a dynamic that we’ve worked towards for years. I never wanted to dominate him, and he never wanted us to have a 50’s style relationship where he was the sole decision maker either. We knew that finding our dynamic would be tricky, and it would also be ever changing, just like many other aspects of our relationship. I know there may be times that you overhear us arguing, but know that these are important arguments, necessary for the further development of our relationship, and it will always be constructive words expressed straight from our hearts, never poisonous things just to cut each other down. We will always do our best to keep these disagreements to a minimum, especially in front of you, but a little disagreement is good in a relationship, because it reminds us that we aren’t stagnant or allowing our own opinions to be glossed over in a time where it would be more conducive to be vocal about them. We will love each other fiercely today, and every day we are on this earth together, and likely thereafter. We will only care for one thing more than each other, and that sole exception would be for our children.
This is where you come in my sweet baby boy. As of today, you live in my belly and depend on me to make our decisions in life, but in just a few short weeks, you will be in this outside world with both your dad and me to lean on. We will raise you to be the best little man we know how, taking into consideration that you will have your own input on this as well. We have many wishes for you, but I won’t give you a list to look up to, rather a set of promises that we will equip you with, and what you decide to do, and who you decide to be, is of course, ultimately up to you. I want you to know that no matter who you are, you will always be loved. These are the things that we learned from our parents, grandparents, friends, and mentors, and we hope to only pass the wisdom and knowledge on to you, and to watch you flourish.
Each year, on your birthday, I will write you a letter. This will be the only public one, and when you move out to begin your own adult life, whenever that may be, I’ll be getting you a Betty Crocker Cookbook, just as my mom got me, and a stack of letters. Until then, here is some info and advice to tide you over if you so decide to read it.
We will do our best to let you be a kid as long as possible. In a world that pushes kids to grow up, we will let you be little.
We will give you unstructured free time, away from technology, free from our influence, to use your imagination. Build your fort, roll in the grass until you’re itchy, or ride your bike and learn some ‘sick tricks’. This is your time. If you want us to join, we will. Yo mama’s got one heck of an imagination I tell ya!
We will teach you to give, always. No one ever went broke from giving too much to others. I want you to know the joy in having all you need, and most of what you want, but we want you to experience the heart-warming happiness and empathy that comes from giving to others. It simply can’t be replicated. The day you give someone a gift that they can never fully repay you for, you will completely understand.
We will take interest in the things that interest you. Whether you decide to get involved in sports, music, arts, cooking, roller derby, chess, …or anything else (within healthy boundaries), we will learn about it, and support you to pursue whatever dream makes you most happy. If that dream changes, we will support that too.
We will teach you to be respectful of all. Adults, women, men, the large, the small, the black and white, purple and pink alike. We will teach you to acknowledge and admire your superiors and peers. Being a gentleman will always be worth the extra effort, even if it’s not reciprocated. We will teach you how to be kind, and earn respect for yourself as well.
We will encourage you to love yourself through all the changes. You’ll just be starting out in life, and sometimes the adult transition can be hard. Whether you go through a break up, or just a tough spot in life, you’ll always be able to rely on yourself to pull out of the dark place, and live in the light. It’s okay to visit the dark place, we all go there, but it’s not a good place to call home.
We will show you how to take responsibility. You’ll learn very quickly that if you take responsibility for your choices, good or bad, at the end of the day you’ll have been true to yourself, and if things go awry, you’ll have the ability to admit you were wrong graciously.
We will demonstrate listening well and the importance of communication. Talking is easy, but exercising restraint can sometimes be very hard. True active listening and understanding can build a relationship in a moment if you do it correctly. Take a true interest in others, don’t think about what you have to say next.
We will allow you to be vulnerable. There can be no positive encounter in your life if you exclude people to only knowing the ‘outer’ you. You can feel, and show it, just like anyone else. The difference is, you’ll understand that emotions play a huge part in each and every relationship you’ll ever have, and you’ll want to show them at times. We will always foster understanding, coping, and positive outlet.
Be authentically, unequivocally, YOU. You will be the one who knows your ‘self’ through and through. You must either accept yourself, or change yourself, but either way, you have to be true to who you are. Express freely, and don’t ever deny who you truly want to be.
There’s a million tiny things you’ll have to learn living with your dad and me… like how to make a really great homemade meal (because no child of mine will be unable to cook, I swear it to you!), how to be a business man and a fun guy, all rolled up into one sassy dude (your dad is the expert here), that Sunday morning is for special breakfast, and being outside for an evening under the stars with good company is a thousand times better than being hooked to your phone.
This and so much more I can’t wait to show you Remi.